Plot: Clara (Linnea Quigley) lives in a plush mansion with her sisters, Edwina (Brinke Stevens) and Victoria (Michelle Bauer). These three cougars on the prowl for more than sex however, as they’re into some occult hijinks. The sisters lure in young men then feast upon them, literally. The women transform into actual cougars and devour the victims, feeding their supernatural hungers. But tempting one victim at a time simply hasn’t been enough and soon, the sisters think they might be displeasing the powers on the other side. So they hire in three young men, none of whom are equipped for the jobs, but all of whom have nice abs. The guys think they’ve hit the jackpot, making good money and running the garden hose slowly over their torsos, unaware of the dark fate that awaits. Will the dudes survive this cougar encounter, or will the sisters have their proper sacrifices at last?
Entertainment Value: A movie about a trio of mature women who turn into literal cougars, that’s a tough premise to pass on. Especially when the film reunites Brinke Stevens, Michaelle Bauer. Linnea Quigley, and director David DeCoteau, all legends of genre filmmaking. The scream queens still look insanely good here, but sadly, we never see that Brinke Stevens message scene. If you’re familiar with DeCoteau’s work then you know he loves to showcase hunky guys in their underwear and oh yeah, that holds true in Cougar Cult. There’s no sex scenes though, just some shower segments and some erotic dream writhing. I know the prominent man flesh runs off some, but I don’t see the big deal. Plus it yields a surreal occult ritual that mandates rubbing oil and glitter all over the guys’ abs, which is kind of cool, to think even goddesses love glitter. But the best part has to be the transformations, which are certain to entertain. The women turn to cougars via a quick green eye flash, then a still photo of a cougar’s head over their own faces. Like the same cougar face for all of them, which is outlandish and hilarious.
Aside from a lot of abs and underwear bulges, no sexual content here. But we do have some wild moments, such as a guy letting a garden hose run over his abs for like five minutes. The guys also rub all over their bodies while dreaming, which is perhaps awkward, but still amusing. So if you’d be uncomfortable with that kind of brosploitation, you’ll likely be put off here. None of the scream queens get naked, but we do get a little cleavage and a thong shot. No blood, just those awesome cougar transformations. A few choice lines, between the bro dialogue and the hokey occult lingo, but not much that’s quotable. Cougar Cult isn’t really that crazy except for the transformations and brorotica, but it does have some fun scenes. So if you like scream queens or guys with wet torsos, check it out.
Overall Insanity: 2/10