Plot: After a relaxing stay at his Fortress of Solitude, Doc Savage (Ron Ely) returns to the hustle & bustle of New York City, only to be given tragic news. His father has passed on, thanks to a tropical disease while in Hidalgo, but Doc suspects that foul play must have been involved. To this end, he assembles his Fabulous Five squad with electrical mastermind Long Tom, engineer Renny, legal whiz Ham, geologist Johnny, and chemist Monk, along with his adorable, ever present piglet. Now with his allies at his side, Doc heads off to uncover the truth about his father’s death, a trail that leads right to a lost Mayan tribe. While the eclectic crew search for answers, they’re not alone, as the villainous Captain Seas (Paul Wexler) lurks in the shadows, with his own plan for the lost tribe. Seas has the help of a government agent who sleeps in a massive crib, but Doc has his friends, both old and new. Can Doc solve the mystery of his father’s death and help the lost tribe avoid Seas’ evil plot?
Entertainment Value: If you like camp, chaos, and over the top heroes, Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze is just your ticket. This one is a wild ride that presents us with a flawless, brilliant, and of course handsome hero in Doc Savage, who is pure of heart and only wants good to prevail. This guy has it all, he is ripped to shreds, has a keen mind, and a heart of gold, how can evil even compete? As if his heroic presence wasn’t enough, we have one of the most unusual sidekick collections ever, including the principal from The Breakfast Club, a guy who always carries a piglet, and a guy who threatens everyone with legal action. This crew battles a maniacal villain with a maniacal laugh to match, so this is truly epic good versus evil stuff. I can see why people don’t love this movie, but I had a lot of fun with how campy and over the top the entire experience was, always one upping itself with lunacy. If you dislike camp or just prefer more serious cinema, then I doubt you’ll find a lot to like here, however. The performances are over the top, the action set pieces are goofy, and there enough odd moments to keep any camp fan more than satisfied. So if you like your heroes larger than life and can appreciate some high camp, this one is recommended.
No nakedness. Doc would never stoop to using meaningless sex, he’s too busy absorbing hails of bullets and calling women bricks. This one is G rated, so you can’t expect much in this area to begin with. The movie does have a tinge of blood in one scene, but its non graphic and not enough to move the needle. There is ample action, but it is all silly, comic book style violence, such as throwing dynamite, comical fisticuffs, and outlandish stunts from our fearless hero. He will kick your ass, but he will also perform brain surgery and help you transition into a socially redeeming lifestyle. What a man! The dialogue is ham handed and a lot of fun, with bickering between the sidekicks, tough guy talk, maniacal laughing from the villains, and Doc’s smooth romantic serenades. Not to leave out one of my personal highlights, the awkward road trip sing-a-long Doc and his allies enjoy is also quite a memorable moment. In terms of craziness, well Doc Savage has that in droves, but it is more wackiness than outright insanity. The entire movie has this heavy handed wholesomeness than is outrageous, while some other bright spots include rocket fishing, a man who sleeps in an oversized crib, a laughable showdown fight in the finale, magic marker tattoos, and mystical ghost snakes that look like penises. So yeah, mystical ghost penises that beat a man to death, I’m sold.
Overall Insanity: 5/10