Plot: A diverse group of folks are enjoying the great outdoors, riding the rapids as part of a river rafting adventure. A stop off to soak in the wilderness leads them on a hike that takes them to an old ghost town. The location is desolate and seems to be empty, but has a certain rustic charm that interests some of the rafters. The appreciation for the locale is good, since someone has sabotaged the rafts and stranded the group. The folks in the group as colorful and quite a varied assortment, which leads to some minor conflicts, though nothing serious. But they have shelter and some supplies, so at least they’re not in a fight to survive. That luxury vanishes however, when someone turns up murdered and no one knows who to suspect. Now stranded in the ghost town and faced with a killer in their midst, concern grows. But as time passes and tension mounts, will anyone discover the truth about the murder and will the killer strike again? Oh yeah, and some dirt bike dudes show up. So that’s cool.

Entertainment Value: Even the most obscure, low rent horror films from the 80s tend to attract hordes of devotees. In the case of Scream, you’d have a hard time rounding up a group of defenders. The movie seems to want to be a slasher movie, with a killer in the shadows hunting down victims, but that’s not the case. Instead, we have a horror movie with minimal tension, minimal blood, and a lot of slow, plodding stretches. The story has potential, with a group of colorful folks taking a break from a rafting trip and happening upon a ghost town. An eerie locale, perfect for a killer to hide and strike, but Scream is content to do little to take advantage. I don’t mind the lack of violence or sleaze, but like nothing happens in 95% of this movie. Even the kills seem lifeless, no pun intended. The cast doesn’t have much to do, but at least we get a few minutes of Woody Strode to help add some sizzle. Not all is bad here though, we do have the cool ghost town location and some weird moments, like the dirt bike kids and mysterious black cowboy. But those offbeat elements aren’t put to good enough use. Scream is just slow, slow, slow and never gets any kind of momentum going. If you’re an 80s horror buff, you’ll need to see it just for curio’s sake, but its a rough watch.

No nakedness. There are some trickles of blood, but don’t expect much. The kills are non graphic and mostly off screen, not pulse racing stuff in the least. If you don’t want to coat the walls in blood, I understand, but give us creative kills or something to keep the horror lively. So a few kills, none of which stand out as memorable or splashy, with a few drips of blood thrown in. The dialogue fails to spark too, which is a shame since the movie is populated with odd and colorful characters. A script that gave these folks some wild dialogue could have turned this one around. The scene where everyone gathers around to listen to the black cowboy is a highlight, as he spins a strange few comments about life on the high seas. This could have been a wacky one, with the ghost town, dirt bike riders, and ominous black cowboy, but those ingredients are mostly wasted. I am going to award one point, but that’s being generous.

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 1/10

Dialogue: 1/10

Overall Insanity: 1/10