Plot: A beautiful lake is patrolled by two security guards, who have grown tired of the dull shifts. One of them brings a couple girls in and soon, the good times have rolled out and then some. But when they strip down to take a dip in the lake, things take a dark turn and soon, all four have been killed. This is no surprise to their boss, as she knows they aren’t the first to perish in the lake’s grasp. A shark lurks beneath the surface, just waiting for those who would wade in. The boss reaches out to a local professor, who is an expert on aquatic predators and who lost her own sister at the lake, in an incident that claimed several lives. Soon more people are tempted by the calm waves and go in, only to be devoured by the shark. One by one, the body count rises and even a hot goth girl is killed. Can the boss and the professor come up with a plan, or will the lake’s hidden monster prove to be too much to handle?

Entertainment Value: Such a great title and damn, the poster is epic. But sadly, Raiders of the Lost Shark fails to live up to that potential. No helicopters, no jet skis, no seaplanes, just a bunch of amateur actors and some awful CGI. But if you’re a veteran of these low rent creature features, you know to temper your expectations, right? Despite the great marketing, this is a comedy that weaves in some light horror at times. The humor often entertains, but for all the wrong reasons. I do like the sea captain and the lazy sheriff, but otherwise its just cringe dialogue and performances. But I like cringe, so I had some laughs with this one. I do wish the shark was more of the focus over a parade of folks that aren’t fleshed out, some just appear and die, with no other explanation. The shark is some of the worst CGI I’ve seen, on par with Birdemic, but this doesn’t have the misguided ambition to be good like Birdemic. The title alone is going to lure in some viewers, but outside of some outlandish lines/performances, that title is the best part of this one.

Just one nude scene, but damn. A hot goth girl gets topless and busts out some questionable erotic dance moves. So some quality flesh on showcase, even if it is the lone scene of that kind. Some CGI blood, while the rest is rubber body parts level gore and I mean that literally. The sheriff and his right hand man discover a pile of various rubber body parts on the beach. We do get a humorous decapitation scene that provides some fun, however. The shark effects look bad, but they do try to raise the ante by having the creature take to the skies. A scene where the shark takes down a plane is perhaps the biggest reach for the effects team. The dialogue is hard to resist, with some wacky lines and laughable performances. I love the scene between the boss lady and the scientist behind the shark’s creation, that exchange is solid gold. The socially awkward tech guy is a stand out, as well. A flying shark is crazy, but sadly the movie lacks the budget to really take this one off the deep end. But the dialogue and performances earn a point to two on the crazy scale.

Nudity: 1/10

Blood: 1/10

Dialogue: 5/10

Overall Insanity: 2/10

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