Plot: Alaska was once a cold, snow covered locale, but after the nuclear apocalypse, it is a much different place. Now Alaska is a barren desert, with intense heat and a population of violent, ever warring factions. The dominant group is known as the Ownership, a ruthless band of marauders who conquer enemies and claim all resources they uncover. This has led to shortages and poor living conditions for those not in the Ownership and even some of the low level soldiers within the faction. There are pockets of rebellion, but most of the rebels are just outmanned and outgunned. But the Ownership has a powerful new enemy in Slade (Richard Norton), a dangerous man who is out for vengeance. He is captured but manages to escape and soon, joins forces with a band of rebels. There he helps perfect an incredible weapon known as the Equalizer 2000, a one of a kind gun that could more than help even the odds. But even with a badass gun and a gorgeous babe at his side, can Slade topple the Ownership?
Entertainment Value: I love these low rent post apocalyptic movies and to me, Equalizer 2000 is one of the coolest. The focus is all on action, with the narrative taking a back seat between stretches of wild gun battles. And in the middle of all the action is cult favorite Richard Norton, soaked in sweat and showing zero emotion. Norton’s turn here is so stoic its like he is being Weekend at Bernie’d through Equalizer 2000, but even so, he is fun to watch. He doesn’t react even when bullets zip past his face or when he’s standing on a car firing rockets, Norton is just that kind of dude. Norton effortlessly (literally) steals the show, but Corinne Wahl and a young Robert Patrick also stand out here. Wahl kicks a lot of ass and is smoking hot in this one, while Patrick plays a filthy redneck to the hilt. This was a low budget production, so the action isn’t polished and there some slow stretches, but the film delivers in terms of inventiveness and entertainment. Not an elite tier action B movie, but still a fun one.
Corinne Wahl is the lone female in Equalizer 2000, but sadly she keeps her huge melons under wraps. There isn’t much blood here, but there is an overload of action sequences. A few car chases, a couple fist fights, but mostly gun battles of all sizes. The finale delivers a battlefield packed with combatants, with gun shots everywhere and explosions around every corner. So if you don’t like shootouts, you might not be having fun with this one. I really like the attention to detail in Equalizer 2000, with inventive costumes and props throughout. If you’ve ever played a Fallout game, this is like a live action version of that re-purposed wasteland. The cars even look pretty cool, with all the production design obviously heavily inspired by Mad Max. There’s not really a lot of dialogue period, but a nice line here and there pops in. The movie has a crazy amount of action, but doesn’t really veer much into madness or chaos, just tons and tons of action. In the end, this is an action focused movie that puts the guns and explosions ahead of camp value or story lines. This is going to thrill some folks and disappoint others, but if you enjoy other low rent apocalypse cinematic efforts, you should give Equalizer 2000 a shot.
Overall Insanity: 2/10