Plot: Dodger (Mackenzie Austin) is a bright kid with a good attitude, but he finds himself bullied by a group of older kids. It doesn’t help that Dodger has a huge crush on the girlfriend of one the bullies, a girl named Tangerine (Kati Barberi). He does have a place to go however, as he helps out at a curio shop run by Captain Manzini (Anthony Newley), an eclectic magician. The shop is filled with rare and strange items, but only one is off limits to Dodger, a trash can. I mean garbage pail. Manzini warns him to leave the garbage pail alone or risk unleashing a hellish whirlwind of chaos. Dodger staves off curiosity, but when the bullies come into the shop, a tussle results in the garbage pail being knocked over. A green slime oozes out and a little later, Dodger is greeted by a troupe of odd little people. These garbage pail kids are gross, but also sympathetic to Dodger’s problems, so they offer to help…in their special ways. Will Dodger finally be free of the bullies or will his new friends only make things worse?
Entertainment Value: Based on the popular trading cards of the same name, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie should have been an instant hit. After all, the cards were insanely sought after and the roster of memorable characters was quite deep. But the movie wound up playing it very safe and targeting the whole family. The cards were gross and some were disturbing, but the movie selects some of the more bland kids to showcase. And even then, their signature elements don’t come out much, besides Windy Winston’s frequent blasts of ass gas. Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie could have been a little closer to the cards and still got the younger audiences, but PG basically doomed it. The cast is about what you’d expect, with passable performances but nothing remarkable. The 80s are all over this one, with Kati Barberi being a vision of gaudy 80s wonder. The main bully is fun with his smug face, while Mackenzie Austin is ok as the basic dork. The story is weird as well, with the garbage pail kids starting a fashion business, so I have no idea how this project ended up so far from the source material.
This was aimed family audiences, so no naked chicks here. You do get to see some outlandish 80s fashion model types though, so that’s something, right? There’s no blood, but there is a little gross factor involved. Based on the cards, this should have been soaked in goop and bodily fluids, but that doesn’t happen. Messy Tessie, known for her high volume of snot, doesn’t even get the green flowing in the least. And while Valerie Vomit does let loose, it is only once and not the spectacle it should have been. I think the movie could have upped the gross out elements and kept it family friendly, but this bland, positive vibes take on the material misses the mark. Some puns and 80s stye bully dialogue can be found, but not enough to keep things afloat. As far as insanity levels, this is a tame, family friendly adventure from start to finish. A few farts and a little vomit, but otherwise, bland and forgettable. I can see folks going back to The Garbage Pail Kids Movie for nostalgia, but that’s about it.
Overall Insanity: 1/10