Story: A special agent has been assassinated by a sniper’s bullet, but this is just the start of the adventure, that much is certain. The agent was known as Salazar (John Aprea) and after he unveiled The Picasso Trigger, he was gunned down by a rogue named Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon), who holds alliances with no one, at least not sincere ones. But Ortiz is just getting started with his weapons, as he plans to take aim on many agents from The Agency, all of whom were connected to his brother’s death. Of course, The Agency has no intentions to let this happen without a fight, so they dispatch Travis Abilene (Steve Bond) and he might not be the right choice, as he has limited gun skills, but perhaps he can deliver this time around. He won’t have to face the ruthless Ortiz alone however, as he is joined by a team of gifted special agents, all of whom are female, well built, and drop dead gorgeous. Armed to the teeth with heavy weaponry, these ladies join Travis on his quest, but in addition to the mission, they’ll face additional obstacles. As danger, romance, and large breasts surround him, can Travis manage to stop Ortiz and his heinous plan?
Entertainment Value: I think Picasso Trigger is a wild, outlandish blast of 80s cinema, the kind of movie only Andy Sidaris would make. The picture boasts shootouts, martial arts, creative weapons, hardbodies in various states of undress, massive 80s vibes, and lot of colorful, over the top moments. The narrative is right in Sidaris’ usual wheelhouse and that means bullets, and babes are the focus, which in the case of the Sidaris filmography, we wouldn’t want it any other way. The tone is of course beyond over the top, juiced with 80s action conventions galore, so expect a bonkers, dialed up experience. Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton are fun as always, Steve Bond is a passable action hero, and Rodrigo Obregon is a capable villain. Obregon tries to bring big Bond villain energy to his role and that leads to some fun scenes. Overall the cast is about where you’d expect from a Sidaris picture, everyone seems to have fun and bring energy to the roles, even if their thespian skills aren’t up to snuff. And in this kind of movie, I think enthusiasm can make a world of difference. I do agree with the critics who find Picasso Trigger to be inconsistent, as it does have some slower stretches at times, but the movie also more than delivers on 80s cinema cheese for most of the duration. I always have a blast with Picasso Trigger and for fans of Sidaris or 80s action flicks in general, this one is highly recommended.
This is an Andy Sidaris movie, so of course we have some nakedness to discuss. The highlights include half a dozen or so topless scenes and of course, a naked hot tub party unfolds. This film might not have as much emphasis on the nudity, but Sidaris still provides all the elements his resume is known for. The blood side of things is mostly anchored in gunshots from the various shootouts, which give us some splashy red stuff. The splatter isn’t graphic, but it is nice and prominent, so the shootouts have that extra kick. The action elements are much more frequent, with car chases, boat chases, motorbike chases, a wild highfall stunt, remote control vehicle madness, a steady stream of explosions, an absolute corker of a mannequin death, and a number of creative weapons, perhaps headlined by an explosive boomerang that is put into action. There’s even some martial arts to be witnessed! The action set pieces are wild and a lot of fun to watch, especially the assorted weapon choices and the boat chase, which is super fun. The dialogue is hilarious and rarely disappoints, with a host of awkward, poorly delivered, or over the top exchanges on showcase. The usual action quips are present, as well as corny poetry, henchmen talk, and my favorite line of the movie perhaps, “look at our boat, Donna.” As for the craziness scale, Picasso Trigger has its fair share of oddball elements, such as an unenthusiastic sidecar excursion, literal blindfire, pocket snorkeling, golf course smack talk, an undercover fisherman, gratuitous aerobics, surprise hovercraft, and a classy escalator ride, and a teal speedo.
Overall Insanity: 8/10