Plot: Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) might seem like just another couple of gorgeous women, but these ladies are anything but the usual bimbos. These two work undercover for the federal government as part of a cargo service, with their station being in the lush, tropical haven of Hawaii. As shipments pass between the islands, Donna and Taryn attempt to uncover any illegal trade or the like. Most of the traffic is clean of course, but sometimes some bad stuff is found and in this case, that’s just what happens. A large amount of diamonds have been found and of course, the owner is not pleased with this fact and orders them to be returned, no matter what that takes. The precious stones belonged to Seth Romero (Rodrigo Obregon), a vicious drug dealer who plans to reign terror until his property is returned to him. In other words, Donna & Taryn will need some help to overcome his forces, so The Agency sends in some reinforcements to lend a hand. As bullets blaze, chases ensue, and all out chaos erupts, which side will emerge as the victor when the smoke clears and the gunfire ceases?
Entertainment Value: This classic of bullets, bombs, and babes is still an absolute blast to watch and even within Andy Sidaris’ colorful filmography, stands out as a bananas cinematic experience. As with most of Sidaris’ movies, Hard Ticket to Hawaii takes the 80s action tropes and launches them into the stratosphere, with ridiculous dialogue, over the top performances, frequent sleaze, and a focus on action, a formula that yields pure movie magic in this case. I mean, when a snake bursting out of a toilet and later taken down by a rocket launcher isn’t the craziest thing that happens, you know this sun soaked adventure is a wild ride. I also appreciate that there’s a consistent flow of action and wackiness, so there aren’t long, slow stretches between the wilder moments, just a steady diet of b movie cheese. Hard Ticket to Hawaii knows what it wants to be and puts the pedal to the metal to deliver on that, throwing logic to the wind when it leads to a cool or epic sequence. And in the realm of 80s action movies, logic is rarely a friend to the films, so to be critical over the jumps here seems silly, especially when Sidaris rewards those leaps with such memorable scenes. This is just absolute fun from start to finish, a bonkers action epic that has massive replay value, so Hard Ticket to Hawaii earns a high recommendation.
This one falls in line with Andy Sidaris’ well established cinematic formula, which means there are numerous women who shed their clothes and of course, some hunks bare their muscles as well. The nudity is frequent, but never graphic and even by softcore standards, the sex scenes are rather tame. So you will see a parade of bare breasts and some naked asses from the women, while the men go shirtless and flex often, but show no naughty pieces. This is an action movie, not a slasher flick, but it still packs in some wild moments of bloodshed. This includes some splashy gunshot wounds that spray the red stuff around, someone is blown to bits by a rocket launcher, and blades are wielded to effective ends. This is all presented as over the top, b movie action moments, rather than mean spirited violence. The action scenes are frequent and a lot of fun, with gun battles, explosions, chases, and of course, some of the most hilarious martial arts showdowns around. The movie has some memorable dialogue as well, with lame flirtations, cornball jokes, and humorous tough guy talk, so there’s a good amount of quotable lines involved. The dialogue is made all the better by the wildly varied performances, some of which are quite stilted and others are beyond over the top, a fun mix. In terms of craziness, we have the adventures of the snake, outlandish action scenes, ridiculous dialogue and performances, and just a constant over the top, balls out vibe at work.
Overall Insanity: 7/10
The Disc: Mill Creek Entertainment has released Hard Ticket to Hawaii on Blu-ray and it looks better than ever, thanks to a new 4k restoration. I was impressed here, as the movie is cleaner and sharper than I’ve ever seen it look, making the old DVD editions relics of the past. The colors are bright and natural, while overall detail is strong and very few print defects can be seen. I never imagined we’d see these Sidaris films restored in 4k, but Mill Creek’s release makes that a reality and I have to think fans are going to be over the moon. The supplements start off with an introduction by Andy Sidaris and Julie Strain, then Sidaris returns for an audio commentary session, joined by wife and producer Arlene Sidaris. The track is informative and fans will be able to glean of behind the scenes insights here. The extras also include a behind the scenes piece that runs over half an hour and the film’s trailer.