Plot: His research team is about to be axed by the pharmaceutical corporation that has backed him to this point, but Dr. Byron (Matthew Marsden) has one last idea that could be a game changer. A rare blood orchid blooms for only two weeks every seven years and based on the limited sample work, it is evident the flower has some special kind of properties. If Byron is correct, the orchid could be the key to slowing or even reversing the aging process, a literal fountain of youth. But to secure enough samples to begin human trials, a squad will have to return to the Amazon and retrieve more orchids, no simple task. As soon as the team arrives, problems begin and when their boat takes a tumble down a waterfall, it becomes obvious that something in the jungle is hunting the squad…
Entertainment Value: The original Anaconda was pure b movie cheese, a fun, over the top ride, but this sequel drops the b movie vibes and opts for a more straight forward approach. There is still some humor at times, but the tone has shifted and without the b movie elements, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid winds up as a mediocre genre film with little snap. The narrative is fine, as it puts the cast in the path of the big snakes, but it fails to populate the story with colorful or even mildly interesting roles, which is a real shame. This is a collection of generic, forgettable characters and the lone standout is only memorable because her southern accent is so atrocious, she winds up being fun to watch. As ridiculous as KaDee Strickland and her accent are, it isn’t enough keep this one afloat, as it is overly serious and puts too much emphasis on the rather dull characters than than the snakes. The waterfall crash is a good set piece and things pick up in the final act, but it is a drag to get to that point. This one is hard to recommend, even to big fans of when animals attack cinema, as The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is too boring and restrained.
No nakedness. This one is PG-13 and has no real sexual moments, so the lack of skin makes sense here. Even if the movie did go down the b movie mania path, the rating would ensure sleaze wasn’t present. This carries over to the bloodshed as well, as the kills are mostly off screen or non graphic, with little of the red stuff involved. I was pleased to see the anacondas given some chances to wreak havoc, but the kills were by no means creative or memorable. The snakes grab people, but we don’t see much of what happens after that. The humans are also given the focus for most of the movie, which would be fine if the cast and characters were interesting, but all I wanted here was to see the anacondas unleashed. As I mentioned before, the best part of this movie has to be KaDee Strickland’s outlandish southern accent, as she butchers it and adds a lot of fun to her banter. But aside from her awful accent and a few minor one liners, not much stands out as memorable here. Strickland’s accent also earns the lone craziness score here, as the rest of the movie is rather bland and sadly, doesn’t dial up the b movie elements like the original Anaconda.
Nudity: 0/10
Blood: 1/10
Dialogue: 3/10
Overall Insanity: 1/10
Marc Fusion 