Plot: Margaret Larkin (Sara Catherine Bellamy) went for a bike ride and never returned, but soon after her disappearance, the corpse of the teen girl was discovered, floating in a river. Her grandmother Evelyn (Candy Clark) is convinced that she was killed by Nathan Redfield (Josh Stewart), the son of the town’s wealthiest man. Nathan manages his father’s interests and that includes the local bank, where Evelyn is behind on payments and Nathan is poised to seize her land. But he isn’t the lone suspect, as some evidence seems to point elsewhere. As Sheriff Hale (Frank Whaley) investigates the murder, some of the locals begin to experience ghostly visions and strange, eerie incidents. When more people are killed and the deaths show no sign of slowing down, it becomes clear this is no simple murder case. What is driving this supernatural rampage and can anything bring the chain of killings to an end, or will the spirits refuse to rest until vengeance is fulfilled?

Entertainment Value: This is an odd one, a ghostly chiller that plays it cool for a while, then unravels into a bananas final stretch. Josh Stewart has the lead and as always, it is borderline impossible to understand a word he says. His accent shifts constantly and he mumbles every line, which I think is hilarious, but those who like to comprehend what characters have to say, they might disagree. His laughable performance drives the movie, with a deadpan serious approach that makes his encounters with the supernatural all the more fun to watch. Stewart is a great choice for a douche like Nathan Redfield, as you just want to see him die, hopefully in horrific fashion. The rest of the cast is fine, but if you’re here to see the legend Tommy Wiseau, his role is minor, so don’t expect much on that front. The movie has some cool visuals, with a lot of ghost girl scenes and a wild, Beetlejuice inspired snake with a human head. The latter makes sense, given that the writer of Beetlejuice penned the novel Cold Moon is based on. The horror here leans on sudden jump scares and eerie visuals, but has some effective moments, such as the game of chicken between Redfield and an invisible bicycle riding ghost. I think this winds up as a pretty fun ghost story, though you have to appreciate Stewart’s awful performance to get the most of the experience. But if you’re a fan of ghost stories, indie horror, or mumbling douchebags, check out Cold Moon.

No nakedness. The movie does have some bloodshed, but most of it is digital and doesn’t look good. A ghost tears off his own head in a scene that would have quite cool if done with practical effects, but loses a lot when done in CGI. But there’s still some blood here and there, even if the CGI doesn’t earn full points. The ghosts tend to look cool, despite the CGI, so that is always good. The dialogue is pretty bland in most cases, aside from the ridiculous mumbling of Stewart. I ended up just kind of making up my own guesses as to what he was saying, since it is hard to understand his marble mouthed thespian technique. But aside from that silliness, Cold Moon’s dialogue is mostly fine, just not that memorable. The movie has a little craziness, such as the mouth snakes, the old woman head on a snake, invisible bicycle, and Stewart’s refusal to enunciate, but it mostly follows the usual ghost story guidelines. Even so, it is nice to have some quirky things tossed in, right?

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 2/10

Dialogue: 1/10

Overall Insanity: 2/10