Plot: Dana (Fiona Dourif) and her husband Charles (Kevin Ryan) are on the brink of a failed marriage, as they’ve reached an impasse in life goals. Charles clings to his music and is certain he can still become a star, while Dana would like to settle down and start a family. Charles insists they’re not “that couple,” but Dana is ready to grow up and build a real life, while Charles is still chasing his dreams and refuses to put his own desires on hold for anyone. Despite the divide, the two have decided to take a trip into the woods and try to reconnect and rekindle. After all, just the two of them out in the splendor of nature could be just what they needed. While scouting for a spot to camp, they notice some odd things, but brush them off as inconsiderate rednecks. That theory proves to be true when a group of loud, obnoxious rednecks arrive later in the night, causing a ruckus and pushing Charles’ patience to the limit. But then an unexplained chain of events unfolds, in which the rednecks are sent into a panic and flee, while horrific noises are heard and some kind of force is on the attack. What lurks out in the woods and can these unhappy spouses somehow survive?

Entertainment Value: Arbor Demon has a miserable couple out in the woods, so I really wanted this to be about nature slowly tearing their souls and bodies to pieces, but sadly that wasn’t the case. Fiona Dourif and Kevin Ryan are solid performers, but half an hour of pretentious, petty dialogue in the first half hour really tanks their characters, you just want to see them die in horrific fashion. While marketed as a horror movie, this is more like a melodrama with light horror elements at times. After an hour of the film’s duration, maybe five minutes were related to anything other than the horrible marriage and how miserable the leads are to each other. I love dysfunction, but I want it to be fun to watch, not sad and dull like it is here. The writing isn’t bad, it is just so dull and does little to build toward anything meaningful. If you want me to sit through 90 minutes of pretentious dialogue in a horror movie, at least give me a great payoff at the end. This is like being stuck in a car with people you can’t stand, but there’s a few seconds of good music every once in a while. I liked the horror part of this movie, especially once we got some peeks at the monsters, but it is rarely showcased. Arbor Demon is a wide miss and horror fans can safely skip this one.

No nakedness. Hard to believe, but Arbor Demon is one of the few movies that has rednecks in the woods, but no squealing like a pig. Given how dull the movie was, perhaps Jake Busey hog tying someone might have livened things up a little. There is a little blood at times, but this is not a slasher or monster movie, so the blood comes from gun shots or injuries that take place off screen. On the plus side, the monsters look cool and I wish they’d have gotten more screen time. The dialogue seems like I should love it, given that there’s so much bitterness and dysfunction. But it comes off as boring more than anything else, which is a shame. Jake Busey has a couple passable lines as a wounded redneck, but not enough to earn a point. If you’re going to stuff this much dialogue into a horror movie, at least make it memorable, right? Nothing crazy happens either, I mean the monsters are cool, but they make sense given the setting and what little exposition we get. In the end, there’s very little that’s memorable about Arbor Demon, good or bad.

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 1/10

Dialogue: 0/10

Overall Insanity: 0/10

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