Plot: When it comes to mummies, most people think of Egypt, not New Mexico. But a university research team has managed to buck that trend, finding an ancient artifact inside a remote cave. In the process however, one of the team members was killed under strange circumstances. As it turns out, the site was an Aztec burial ground and the body seems to belong to Tezcatlipoca, also known as the lord of death. You’d think no one would be interested in bringing someone known as the lord of death back to life, but of course, one of the team members wants to do just that. After acquiring a book that holds Aztec ritual instructions, she plots to enact a blood sacrifice and see if the stories of the old magic are real. So she coats the corpse in her own blood and rides Tezcatlipoca like a bucking bronco, in hopes of a mystical revival. Instead, she starts to vomit up funky green ooze and promptly drops dead. Of course, she isn’t down for the count and powered by an ancient STD, she rises and is possessed by the spirit of the ancient god, with a drive to fuck…and kill. Will the evil spirit of Tezcatlipoca be spread through ritualistic sport fucking, or can someone find a way to stop the mayhem before it infects the world?
Entertainment Value: Hold on, a mummy movie that isn’t an action/comedy with tons of terrible CGI? American Mummy not only returns one of horror’s old school icons to the genre it belongs in, but it manages to include some fresh spins. The idea of an ancient god spreading his powers of evil through a mystical STD is quite interesting and such a fun concept. I mean, we’ve seen this kind of thing before, but injecting it into the mummy mythos is a lot of fun. I also like that the narrative sticks true to the more traditional mummy legend in some ways, giving us a nice balance between old school and these fresh ingredients. The cast is passable, so the performances aren’t that memorable, but they’re fine. I think the Russian paleopathologist is my personal favorite, with a horrible accent that always entertains. Esther Canata is also fun as the bad ass chick who starts all this chaos by mounting an ancient corpse. This is an indie movie and it shows at times, but I think most of the limitations work in favor of the movie, adding b movie qualities a lot of genre fans appreciate. I’d recommend this to fans of monster movies, indie horror, and STD driven hijinks.
This one has some nakedness, but not as much as you might think, given the STD nature of the evil virus. One bare ass in a shower scene, as well as a few quick topless shots cover the naked flesh here. But one of the topless scenes involves a hot tribal chick, so that’s a plus. There’s ample bloodshed however, with most of the gore being old school practical style effects. A wealth of blood from Carmen during the rituals, but we also have an arm lopped off, a guy torn in half, a chick’s head cut off, and an awesome pickaxe to the dome sequence. I loved seeing such an old school approach, as even low budget practical effects trump CGI bloodshed, in my opinion. Above all else, the gore is just plain fun to watch here. The dialogue has some bright spots, especially the Russian gibberish and some moments of overly dramatic line work. But aside from the over the top Russian performance, there’s not a consistent source of outlandish or campy lines, so not a lot of points there. On the crazy scale, we have old school gore, a mummy with a mystical STD, and a Russian stereotype running wild, so there’s some wildness here, but not a high volume.
Overall Insanity: 3/10