Plot: A nun murders a woman, throws her into a lake, then calls upon the forces of darkness to curse the waters. This of course leads to a shark being possessed by demons, then going on a feeding frenzy. Three friends visit the lake and one is attacked by the shark, but despite some wicked injuries, she heals quickly and doesn’t even end up with a scar. But she has changed, now obsessed with sharks and acting strangely, even driving away her closest friends. Meanwhile, a paranormal television show is on the scene to try to get proof of the supernatural shark, though a rival debunking show is also present, to prove the stories are all made up. A priest also hears the claims of the events and heads toward the lake, as more and more victims pile up. Is the shark destined to curse the lake forever, or can the priest drive out the evil spirit?
Entertainment Value: This might not be a good movie, but damn if Shark Exorcist isn’t one bad ass title. A nun calls upon the spirits of darkness, creating a demon possessed shark to terrorize an otherwise calm lake. If the movie would have focused on the shark and the exorcism elements, this might have been a fun flick. After all, who doesn’t want to see a priest do battle with the forces of evil, while evading the teeth of a possessed shark, right? While some time is devoted to this, most of the duration is various girls somehow trekking to the lake and being devoured. The shark looks terrible of course, so the attacks aren’t fun or over the top. If the attacks were tied into the demonic angle or at least blood soaked, I could understand. But since the attacks show little and are quite dull, I don’t. The cast is about what you’d expect, a collection of attractive, but not too skilled actresses. I don’t need good performances, but if you’re devoting most of the screen time to dialogue driven scenes, you need memorable lines and characters, which this movie lacks. I wanted to love this movie, but in the end, the best thing about Shark Exorcist is the title.
A premise as ridiculous as Shark Exorcist seems like a natural fit for gratuitous nudity, buckets of blood, colorful characters, and outlandish dialogue. But sadly, these genre mainstays are almost totally absent from this one. Despite a cast stacked with pretty girls of questionable thespian talents, no one gets naked here. A few bikinis, but that’s all the flesh we’re offered. A little blood at times, but no on screen violence and no actual gore, just some bright red blood smeared on victims. Aside from two memorable lines, there’s no over the top writing or performances either, which is so strange. This kind of movie is ripe to be taken off the rails, but Shark Exorcist is content to have forgettable dialogue no real sense of “wow this shit is insane” that you’d expect. You can’t really blame the budget either, as crazy dialogue and characters aren’t expensive. I’m baffled as to why such a wild, creative premise is wasted on a dull, lifeless end result, but its a shame and we mourn the missed opportunity here.
Overall Insanity: 0/10
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