Plot: Jack runs a club in a popular ski resort town, home to a huge crowd of college kids and that means big business. His club has topless dancers, cool drinks, and good music, but the real draw for Jack involves peep holes. For some reason, he offers showers to his female clients, who can strip down and clean up in the back. This proves to be a popular service, as countless girls file in to get naked and Jack watches from the other side. He also turns off the hot water, so that the girls will ask for assistance and then he can go in and have a better look. So he winds up getting in the shower with the girls often, but lately he simply can’t keep up with all the girls that come in. So he brings in some other guys to back him up and meanwhile, everyone seems to be more interested in sex than hitting the slopes. Will anyone keep their clothes on long enough to put some on skis, or will they just keep each other warm inside?
Entertainment Value: In the world between hardcore porn and softcore porn, there lies a realm of movies like Swinging Ski Girls. This movie is basically all sex and more graphic than traditional softcore cinema, but stops just short of going full hardcore, so its an odd duck. The story is thin, just establishing that the town is filled with horny folks and a local club owner runs a shower service. That’s honestly the extent of the plot, as from there it is just one shower scene or sex scene after another. A few lines get tossed in here and there, but minimal effort was put into the narrative here. The performances are about what you’d expect, with the only standout being the club owner, who is like a creepier Mick Foley. His character has the comic relief lines, but given the lack of story, he isn’t given much to work with. I feel like even a skeletal attempt at a silly comedy would have worked wonders here, to at least put some space between shower scenes and add in some entertainment value. So as a movie, Swinging Ski Girls isn’t all that memorable, but if you just want the nakedness, it delivers in spades.
This movie is packed with naked bodies, with a parade of ladies baring it all, sometimes in close up detail. Those of you into soapy breasts and asses, this might be your ticket to paradise. A ton of shower scenes with full frontal nudity, one after another, broken up only by other sex related sequences. The sex scenes are graphic, but not quite hardcore, though some of the oral is briefly unsimulated. For example, a girl licks an erect penis, but it is very brief and then switches to a more softcore approach. So tons and tons of totally naked women, as well as a few dongs, some of which are at full mast. It is pretty clear that this movie was made to sell sex and on that front, Swinging Ski Girls comes through and then some. No blood. The dialogue is basic and doesn’t really go anywhere, so there’s not much to talk about. I wish there was wacky dialogue or some over the top exchanges, but no such luck. The absolute focus on sex and some of the angles employed are pretty out there, not to mention the premise of a club where beautiful women buy showers and sleep with whoever walks in. But since it is just sex and nothing else, it doesn’t really earn those insanity points. The final scene is a wild one though, so I will award one point there.
Overall Insanity: 1/10