Plot: Lauder House is a prime piece of real estate, but no matter how many people move in, no one can live there. A number of prospective tenants have tried, but strange noises and unexplained events quickly drive them out. As word spreads about the potentially supernatural happenings, most of those interested never bother to look beyond the stories and rumors. Now the current owners plan to open a lovely bed & breakfast, but first they need to cleanse the evil spirits. So a troupe of detectives, mediums, and bad actors venture into Lauder House, determined to turn the tables on the forces within. But they soon learn the evil in the house has no intention of giving up its hold, so the team starts to get knocked off in horrific fashion. Can anyone survive this all out supernatural assault, let alone cleanse the evil spirit?
Entertainment Value: This review covers the uncut version of Witchtrap, as released by Vinegar Syndrome. As the marketing materials clearly let us know, this is not a sequel to Witchboard, but it is one hell of an experience. The story is basic and works, as we watch some outsiders try to cleanse a haunted house. Where Witchtrap veers off course is with dialogue that is otherworldly and performances that simply dazzle the mind. The cast is like sleepwalking through the lines and our central medium gives perhaps the most wooden performance ever seen. You can’t help but be transfixed on these actors as they navigate this material. I mean all this in a positive sense, but I can see where most people might not appreciate the madness captured here. The acting is outlandish and most of the movie is dialogue, so if you don’t like magically bad performances, maybe Witchtrap ain’t for you. But if you like trainwrecks and clusterfucks, this is an epic one that packs a high entertainment value.
The highlight of nakedness here is Linnea Quigley, who shows breasts, bush, and bare ass in a shower scene. I know, she’s naked all the time, but still, she’s a legend and she’s the highlight here. Otherwise, not much to talk about besides a bathtub topless scene. On the gore side, once again Leannea takes the cake with that shower scene. She gets a gruesome throat job from the shower head that is quite fun to watch. A full on head implosion is a lot of laughs too, but a naked shower gore scene edges it out. You’ll also see assorted other bloodshed like gun shot wounds, a guy wearing really tight pants, and of course, a man melting before our very eyes. You want dialogue? Jesus Christ this movie has a lot of fantastic dialogue. Line after memorable line, delivered in stiff performances that get extra entertainment mileage out of the script. Just a slew of hilarious dialogue moments to quote and have no one understand. The wacky dialogue and performances are the craziest elements, as the story is pretty standard paranormal fare. Even so, Witchtrap is a wild one even without a high score.
Overall Insanity: 4/10