Plot: A couple is camping in the woods when the mood strikes, so after a fireside blowjob, they retire to the tent to seal the deal. While the two pound it out doggy-style, a strange creature picks up the scent of passion and moves closer. Soon it has performed a lethal cockblock and the couple is left in a pool of blood. The next day, a group of the couple’s friends head to the woods to relax and meet up with them, unaware that the couple has been slaughtered. Once the friends set up camp, the alcohol flows and weed is passed around. Soon enough, everyone turns in and while they sleep, the monster sniffs around the camp, but heads elsewhere. The next night however, passions spark and the creature is lured to the camp by the smell of sex and masturbation. As the friends are preyed upon, can any of them survive this hellish camping trip?
Entertainment Value: With a title like Don’t Fuck in the Woods, you might think this is a balls to wall splatter flick with gratuitous nudity around every corner. But while the movie does have a good amount of blood and tits, it doesn’t push into over the top madness like I expected. I had fun with the movie and when it relies on horror, it works quite well. But the attempts at pop culture humor are cringe worthy, which could be good depending on what you want. The cast is mostly amateur and does about as well as can be expected, doing comedic roles can be tough. I think if this were played more serious and the humor a little darker, the cringe factor would be much lower. But when the horror kicks in, Don’t Fuck in the Woods is fun and shows a lot of potential from the filmmakers. So if you’re a fan of truly indie horror, make sure to check this out.
I just have to mention this, if you liked the sex scene in The Room where Johnny fucks Lisa in the belly button, there is a sequel to that here. In an odd choice of placement, a guy eats out a girl’s navel though of course, we are supposed to think its cunnilingus. Great stuff and Don’t Fuck in the Woods provides a good amount of other sexual hijinks. A few of the girls get naked and show off the jugs, while a couple go one step further and take it all off, as they say. Brandy Mason shows just about everything, but overall the nudity here isn’t graphic and the guys keep their pants on during sex. The blood factor is above average, with numerous gruesome moments and overall bloodshed. The gore is of course low rent, but gore is gore and there’s plenty to go around. A gut ripping scene and castration proved to be the highlights in that area. Unless you love pop culture references, the dialogue here isn’t that memorable. In terms of insanity, the title is the craziest thing you’ll find in this movie. Don’t Fuck in the Woods is a fun creature flick when it sticks with the horror and tends to grind to a halt outside of the sex & violence.
Overall Insanity: 3/10