Plot: Yeah. About that plot…well, yeah. In the rugged land of Parmistan, there exists a competition known as The Game. The men who enter face death from countless ways, including hordes of ninjas, cursed villagers, and insufficient cardio. After his father was killed in The Game, Jonathan Cabot (Kurt Thomas) ventures to Parmistan to exact revenge. But of course, no outsider has won The Game in over 900 years, so even a gymast/martial artist like Cabot won’t have an easy time. After a two minute montage and a round of sex with Parmistan’s princess, Cabot embarks on his journey and discovers his competition is fierce indeed. Huge men, master martial artists, and pure savages stand in his way, not to mention the trials and tribulations of The Game itself. He has honed his mind and body into weapons, but can even Cabot survive The Game?
Entertainment Value: This is one of those movies you simply have to see, a must for action movie buffs or cult cinema lovers in general. This is just a wild ride from the start and things only spiral further into madness from there. Thomas tries his best in slow motion fist fights, but the rampant flips, awkward choreography, and his own mullet have other plans. I mean, there’s a scene where he uses a literal pommel horse to fight off an entire village of attackers. He is constantly flipping or flopping or walking on his hands, not just in fight scenes either. Once our hero reaches a cursed village however, Gymkata runs totally off the rails in the best possible ways. As insane as things get, the cast plays it straight and that really elevates the madness. This movie could only be this outlandish if everyone took it seriously and thankfully, they did just that. This is just an off the wall, wildly entertaining movie.
Gymkata offers up minimal nakedness, with one guy’s bare ass and some revealing short shorts worn by our protagonist. While the movie is littered with violence, there isn’t blood to speak of. Even when guns are brought into play, the violence is non graphic, so no wild gore is on showcase. But Gymkata does offer a buffet of wacky dialogue and strange performances. Thomas is in way over his head, but remains dead serious while the movie burns in chaos around him. The real drawing power here comes from the sheer insanity however, with scene after scene that defies logic and reason. No downtime either, as we rocket from one crazy moment to the next. Gymkata starts fast and never slows down, saving its biggest guns for the final third of the movie. If you have even a slight interest in bizarre cinema, Gymkata is 100% a must see picture.
Overall Insanity: 9/10