Story: Randy (Richie Acevedo) works in landscaping, but he has bigger dreams in mind, ones that let him follow in the footsteps of his father, who was a professional wrestler. He is obsessed with wrestling, but he never took the risk to train and give it a real chance, though after a series of unfortunate, awkward events, he is finally ready to test his skills. He shows up at Jimmy Valiant’s wrestling school and when Jimmy asks if anyone thinks they’re ready for the ring, Randy speaks up and moments later, finds himself in the ring with the legend himself. Valiant makes short work of Randy, of course and after that humiliating turn of events, Randy faces a real crossroads. Will he dust himself off and try again or will his mind finally break under the pressure?
Entertainment Value: Just as the title suggests, WrestleMassacre is indeed a slasher movie with a pro wrestler on the rampage and I have to say, the wrestling aspect is not a light one, as the movie commits and never looks back. So yes, our killer does indeed break out pro wrestling moves (what a maneuver!) as he mows down his victims and in a welcome touch, everyone uses pro wrestling to defend themselves, so every fight is like an outlandish wrestling showdown. A lot of films would just throw a lucha mask on a killer and call it good enough, but I appreciate that WrestleMassacre puts the wrestling gimmick to good and frequent use. The tone is over the top and ridiculous, with a mostly fast pace, though the loan shark narrative thread drags at times. I much preferred Randy as the focus, as his scenes are fun and wild, while the loan shark sequences are not much fun and to me, removing them would have tightened up the pace a lot as well. This is pure, low rent b movie madness, with blood, flesh, bad jokes, and outrageous style performances, so if you like your horror movies to be outlandish and feature Nikolai Volkoff, this one is recommended.
In addition to the Cuban Assassin running around in a speedo, more sleaze awaits here, with a handful of topless scenes throughout the movie. A couple of those sequences also involve more revealing moments of nudity, including full frontal and in one case, a topless woman is hit with the infamous Mandible Claw, surely a memorable turn of events. The film took the Massacre part of WrestleMassacre to heart, as this one has a lot of kill scenes and a wealth of low rent, over the top violence & gore. The fight scenes are often hilarious, with pro wrestling style attacks and moves, but the once someone gets color, the fake red stuff flows like wine. Some of the highlights include a ripped out throat, dismemberment, a skull is pried open, nipple trauma, face torn off, a nasty boot stomp, double eye gouge to rile up the crowd, and a disembowelment, with a number of other smaller scale gore bursts as well. The gore looks cheap, but fun and humorous, which works for this material. The dialogue is passable, but doesn’t go for broke with the outlandish exchanges, opting for mostly lame jokes and puns. But we do have some points in this section, thanks to Jimmy Flame, who makes the most of his screen time and proves to be one of the movie’s best elements. As for craziness, we have a traumatic squash match, Nikolai Volkoff in an owl t-shirt, amateur barber work, a weedwhacker tribute to Nick Mondo, the hilarious wrestling driven fights, a Dusty finish, Tony Atlas as a mobster, and of course, a camel clutch humbling session.
Overall Insanity: 6/10
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