Plot: Lucas Hill (Keanu Reeves) is an American diamond merchant, but his deals aren’t always above board, to say the least. He has a reputation for shadier exchanges, so he finds himself in the middle of a deal for some rare blue diamonds. This takes him to Russia to meet up with his contact Pyotr (Boris Gulyarin), but when he arrives at the hotel for the face to face, he learns that some dangerous types beat him there. Now Pyotr is on the run and has the diamonds with him, which means Hill has to meet with the buyers to explain. Boris (Pasha D. Lynchnikoff) is a mobster who raised millions to buy the product, but now has to work with Hill to track down Pyotr if he wants to complete the transaction. Even as Hill is drawn into an illicit affair with a local woman, can he stay one step ahead of the others involved in the deal and finish things out alive, or is he in over his head this time?

Entertainment Value: I’ve written thousands of reviews and always find at least a little positive in most films, but Siberia tested even my immense patience. I have never shut a movie off before it was over, but I was tempted here, as Siberia was a total chore to endure. I think the movie hopes the presence of Keanu Reeves will be enough to coast through, which isn’t the case, as Reeves seems disinterested and does little to move the entertainment needle. The narrative is dull and never hooked me in, despite some odd twists that pop up and I normally appreciate nonsensical plots, but this just bored me to near tears. The pace is glacial and so little happens, which means that long stretches are drawn out with minimal purpose. Even the visuals are generic, despite some interesting potential with the locales and what little action creeps in, winds up as forgettable and not well staged. The movie’s main draw are some sex scenes that involve humorous banter between the characters, but those are infrequent and not worth suffering through the entire film to experience. I can’t recommend this in good faith to anyone, but perhaps some of Reeves’ fans might appreciate it to some degree.

The promotional materials all focus in on Keanu Reeves and he is the true lead, as he is in most of the scenes and his character pushes the narrative. So that is nice, given how often the marketing fails to deliver on the promise of the artwork, but even in the lead role, Reeves doesn’t add much to Siberia. His performance is half asleep at times, so reserved that you’d think he was hypnotized or he just really didn’t want to be in this motion picture. I think even devotees of Reeves’ work will be challenged here, as he puts in little to no effort and the material doesn’t give him much of a chance to shine, so his presence just feels like a waste here. Ana Ularu brings some energy to her role, but again, the script just fails to give her much to work with. The cast also includes Ashley St. George, Molly Ringwald, and Veronica Ferres.

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