Plot: Matias (Colin Woodell) loves his girlfriend, but because she is deaf, he struggles to communicate with her. He tried to learn sign language with little success, so now he is working on an app that translates his speech into sign language videos, for quick and effective online conversations. His progress has been slow, mostly due to his less than up to date equipment, but he recently acquired a new laptop and since then, he has made up a lot of ground. Even so, he and his girlfriend continue to have tension, to the point she skips out on an online game night with their friends, who plan to play some Cards Without Humanity. As the night progresses, it becomes that clear that whoever owned the laptop before Matias was involved in some strange things and now, is determined to reclaim the laptop’s contents. But is this just some kind of sick prank or are Matias and his friends in real danger?

Entertainment Value: This sequel continues the gimmick of the first Unfriended, which is to confine most of the movie’s duration to a computer screen, while a group of friends cope with some unknown menace. The first movie dealt with a supernatural element, but in Dark Web, the threat is hackers and rich sadists, though the end result is the same, a bland and rather forgettable experience. I think this installment is more kinetic and has some unintentional humor that adds some spice, but otherwise, there’s not much here to praise. The narrative is ridiculous, with omnipotent hackers and deep web conspiracies brought to life, all played as sincere and believable, which of course adds some laughs. The highlight has to be when a five second Photoshop session yields a doctored image that is expected to not only scare our lead, but convince us it would hold up in court. This is hilarious stuff and if the entire movie had been this campy, it might have been a fun ride, but instead this is mostly filler and a test to see how many times a username/password entry can be shown on screen. This one is dull for the most part and while some scenes are hilariously awful, Dark Web is just not a fun or scary movie and once again hopes the gimmick will be enough.

No nakedness. This is a rare R rated movie from tween horror empire Blumhouse, but the film does little to earn it. There’s some brief bursts of violence and some minor bloodshed, but not much. I did like the concept of one scene that involved a swatting inspired sequence, but even that was toned down here. Even so, there’s a little blood involved, which is a surprise from Blumhouse. The dialogue is basic and forgettable, with some fun hacker speak thrown in at times. But aside from hip internet buzzwords, Dark Web is unable to muster much in terms of fun lines or memorable exchanges. The “villain” is a total douche and that is kind of fun, but aside from some whiny moments, even that isn’t pushed to the full entertainment potential. As for craziness, a few of the hacker moments are so over the top, it adds some unintentional humor, but otherwise this is a fairly bland teen aimed horror flick. If Dark Web had embraced how ludicrous the hacker elements were and dialed up that aspect, while keeping the serious tone, this would have been a much more memorable picture.

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 2/10

Dialogue: 1/10

Overall Insanity: 1/10

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