Plot: Blair (Kristin Noel McKusick) has her parent’s palatial estate to herself for the weekend, so she plans to put that freedom to good use and of course, throw an epic pool party with her friends. But what Blair and her friends don’t know, is that a maniac is on the loose and not just any homicidal fiend, but one who appreciates variety when it comes to murder weapons. So while the girls soak up some rays, gossip, and hook up with their boyfriends, an unknown killer stalks the mansion and the bodies start to pile up. But who is killing these poor hotties and will everyone tool in the pegboard be used to slaughter these bikini clad beauties?
Entertainment Value: This is a cheap, over the top horror movie with tasteless humor, in other words, Pool Party Massacre is a lot of fun. A low budget tribute to the glory days of slasher movies, this one revels in the blood, bad jokes, and boobs of yore, but shows more polish than you might expect. The movie has some impressive visuals, shot with great skill and on a technical basis, just seems more professional than most of the indie horror flicks out there. That polish really helps the movie stand out, as we’ve all been through a lot of shaky cam, poorly framed, or barely lit horror films, so this is a nice change of pace. The narrative is simple and to the point, someone is killing people and that’s all we need to know. The pace is brisk and the movie has little filler, while the cast is ridiculous and mostly terrible, but that’s part of the fun. The humor lines up with the performances, over the top and ludicrous, but fun and with some memorable lines and banter. I had a good time with Pool Party Massacre and anyone with an interest in indie horror should check this one out.
The movie has some nakedness, with a few topless scenes and of course, a cock shown on a cell phone. After all, who doesn’t like dick pics mixed into their indie horror, so a nice touch there. The boobs are loose in several sequences and while the sexual elements aren’t graphic, it is always nice to see a little sleaze thrown in. There’s a good deal of blood and the kills are varied, as our murderer switches up implements between victims for good measure. And this is a considerate maniac, as each tool is put back in place before a new one is chosen. The violence is hokey and mostly non graphic, but there’s plenty of syrupy bloodshed going on and a few of the kills are splashier than others. I also appreciated the wide scope of killing methods and of course, the “corpses fall from everywhere” that old school horror loved to unleash. The dialogue is silly and over the top, with a cornball sense of humor that feels at home with the rest of the old school horror throwback elements. I had fun with the dialogue for the most part and there are some ridiculous, even quotable moments here. As for craziness, the silly tone is always present, the finale is humorous, and the weird sleazeball that pops up to harass the girls adds some wackiness.
Overall Insanity: 3/10