Plot: A family has just moved into their new home, a beautiful house in a peaceful town, with a great new life ahead of them. But soon, one of the children notices some strange things and armed with her camera, investigates a little and is convinced someone else in inside the house. While her concerns are dismissed, soon the entire family is murdered and the town is abuzz with rumors of all kinds. A group of friends second guesses a planned camping trip after the murders, but the threat of a potential killer isn’t enough to outweigh the potential good times. The friends head to the woods, but get a little lit up and decide to go to the site of the murders, to look around and maybe have a good scare or in the two process.
Entertainment Value: As if often the case with indie found footage films, Unlisted Owner is clearly a group of real life friends who decided to make a movie, using local actors and locations. I admire the ambition, but this is one of those found footage movies where nothing happens, all of the cliches are hit, and a ton of time is spent on lame in jokes between the friends. About ten minutes of the duration are devoted to whether the girls they’ve agreed to meet will be hot or not. This returns over and over again, as if it was the go to filler when the script was blank. I did appreciate the presence of actual emergency vehicles at times, which adds some realism, but the overproduced digital artifacts were a severe distraction. Until the last fifteen minutes or so, no attempt at any kind of horror vibes is made whatsoever, so up to that point, it is dull dialogue and shaky cam central. No atmosphere, no sleaze, no blood, and minimal effective humor, just a lot of filler and no horror until the finale. I can’t recommend this one even to found footage fans, as there’s so little horror involved and unless you’re friends with the filmmakers, there’s little to hold interest here.
No sleaze. A lot of cringe level sex talk at times, with the guys as douche boasters and the girls as shrews who criticize anything the bros talk about. No blood. A little drips from a hole in the ceiling at one point, but there is zero on screen violence here, not even slight, non graphic type content. A dude wipes a blade on his pants, that is the lone time a weapon touches a person in this one. I don’t need buckets of gore, but come on, not even a drop of kinetic violence drips out. No atmosphere either, as the movie piddles around until the finale, then hopes some cheap jump scares and cliche camera angles will elicit some reaction. The dialogue is bland and forgettable, which could be forgiven if it wasn’t the core of the movie. Some lame lines here and there are fine, but this movie is all dialogue until the final few minutes, so the weak jokes and banter really grind this thing to a halt. No craziness whatsoever. This one makes no effort to push boundaries or add flavor, this is as vanilla as found footage can be.
Overall Insanity: 0/10