Plot: Rod (Alan Bagh) is a man who rose through the ranks, promoted from engineer to a sales position. He closes huge sales with his smooth talk and generous discounts, but his sales work is just one facet of his remarkable life. This young man also owns his own solar power distributor, with valuable patents and progressive tech that could solve the world’s energy problems. Thanks to a recent merger and his wise stock investments, he is now a wealthy man, but money is no concern for Rod, he wants to save the world and find true love. His quest for the right woman has led him to Nathalie (Whitney Moore), a beautiful fashion model who he went to high school with, but lost contact with until a recent street reunion. The two strike up a friendship, but it seems as if romance could be in the air. Now Rod has wealth, environment saving tech, and a wonderful woman, but could climate change step in and take it all away?

Entertainment Value: A lot of the attention given to Birdemic focuses on the terrible visual effects, which makes sense, as the birds are ridiculous, but to me, the real draw here is the romance narrative. The saga of Rod and Nathalie is cinematic gold, with some of the most deadpan, awkward, and cringe inducing exchanges I’ve ever seen, which is a real testament to this movie. Rod never even feels like a human, more like a strange replicant who has no idea he isn’t a real person, while Nathalie is oblivious, dumb as rocks, and an absolute treasure. If the movie was all about this romance and Rod’s environmental/professional endeavors, Birdemic would earn a place next to the all time bad movie classics. But for me, the bird element tanks the fun and while it is funny for a few minutes, it gets stale fast. I think any scene spent on the birds is a waste, as that means we miss out on the ludicrous dialogue and mannerisms, which are what make Birdemic so much fun. The movie’s rank technical production values take a little getting used to, but soon the awful sound design and bizarre, haphazard editing approach are just part of the good times here. While I found the bird segments to be mostly dull, there’s more than enough insane dialogue and awkward, cringe laden content here to earn a high recommendation.

No nakedness. But in this case, the no sleaze approach provides a ridiculous alternate approach. The sex scenes feature the women in bikinis and the men in boxers, which makes the already chemistry vacant sensuality even more awkward. There’s some blood involved, but nothing too graphic. A bird is shot out of the sky, then that effects footage is looped about a hundred times, while several people are pecked or otherwise mauled by the birds. This only results in kinetic bloodshed in one instance, but we see the results of the attacks. So a lot of aftermath blood, but not much as far as active violence and no real gore. The dialogue. Oh, the dialogue. I love the both the writing here and the lifeless performances, as they combine to create this incredible, magical experience that I can’t get enough of. I didn’t find much of the dialogue to be that quotable, but it is just a constant flow of awkward, artificial feeling exchanges that never fail to inspire either laughter or total bewilderment. That is why I wish the bird angle was lessened, as the characters and dialogue here are so much fun. As for craziness, the bird loops, the heavy handed environmentalism, and terrible production values help out, but it is Rod and Nathalie that drive the movie. These are two of the strangest characters I’ve ever seen in a movie and even when they just have simple conversations, I was riveted to the screen to see what would happen next. A personal highlight was the dance routine, complete with an odd song about spending quality time with your family.

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 2/10

Dialogue: 10/10

Overall Insanity: 10/10

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