Plot: A dark matter asteroid has crashed into Alaska, sending shock waves through the earth’s fault lines. A team of experts is aware of the situation, but as there is little to no data about dark matter, all they can do is watch and report. The impact leads to epic earthquakes that hit over 9 on the Richter Scale, causing massive damage all over the globe. Even the less powerful aftershocks are so intense, lives are lost and immense destruction is unleashed. In the middle of all this chaos is Johanna (Natalie Pelletier), who is trying to guide her two stepdaughters to safety, while the girls’ father and brother are off in their own battle to survive. The plan is to meet in a remote locale, regroup, and head to an underground bunker. But for either side to reach that meet up spot, they’ll have to make it through even more quakes, electrical storms, tidal waves, and the dangers of other survivors. Will they survive long enough to reunite or will the world end before they get the chance?
Entertainment Value: This is The Asylum’s take on Geostorm, a disaster movie that chose to limit the disasters and focus on a dull family drama. While Geo-Disaster also involves a family drama, this movie embraces the camp, b movie side of the genre and winds up as a much more fun experience. Instead of one or two minutes of disasters, this movie piles on the chaos and never relents, with electrical storms, volcanoes, tidal waves, earthquakes, and more. Of course, the CGI used isn’t good at all, but neither were the effects in Geostorm. And in a movie about the potential end of the world via weird weather events, might as well go balls out, right? The cast here isn’t great, but the camp vibe helps a lot and if nothing else, the performances provide a lot of unintentional humor, which is always fun. Natalie Pelletier as JoHAnna (intense emphasis on the H) is the stand out, with her stepmother woes, martial arts skills, and she really tries to put in a good performance. I mean, she doesn’t, but you can see how hard she is trying and that is admirable. I think she has great potential and hope to see her in more b movies down the line. Geo-Disaster is what Geostorm should have been, a wild, melodramatic movie loaded to the gills with outlandish CGI destruction. The Asylum has beaten Hollywood at its own game this time around, so if you were let down by Geostorm, give Geo-Disaster a chance.
No nakedness. There is an awkward scene where a teen girl needs to take her shirt off and she’s embarrassed because she’s not wearing a bra, but it is more cringe and creepy than anything else. A little blood, like when JoHAnna’s leg is crushed by a huge chuck of concrete and she suffers a slight scratch. But seriously, no real blood to talk about and the deaths all happen by natural (disaster) causes. The movie has a lot of fun disaster scenes however, which was kind of the point of Geostorm, but for some reason that movie minimized that aspect of the narrative. Not so in Geo-Disaster, as numerous scenes unspool widespread chaos and once the disasters kick off, they keep going until the bitter end. The CGI is of course low end and ridiculous, but no worse than what Hollywood pumps out lately, in my opinion. In any case, the disaster scenes are silly and fun to watch, which is what matters. The dialogue is chock full of bad lines and awkward moments, just as we b movie fans prefer. Natalie Pelletier really tries to make the script work, especially in a rooftop goodbye scene, but since she’s the only one putting in effort, it makes her performance seem out of place. But I loved Pelletier in this one, she was a lot of fun and really tried hard to push the material. The movie also has bad one liners, dad jokes, and overly dramatic moments, such as removing your glasses to get a better look at a monitor so you can say “My God,” so the dialogue is outlandish, but super fun at times. As for craziness, Pelletier’s character is like a master of all trades, a teen girl whisperer, old person wrangler, crisis management expert, and martial arts bad ass, so she earns a point. The assorted other instances of camp, melodrama, and just oddness also put a couple points on the board.
Overall Insanity: 3/10