Plot: Cathy (Helen Benton) is hosting Christmas at the rural home she shares with her boyfriend Gary (Terry Man), a brawny man who enjoys hunting, flannel, and dreams of a big wedding. Her children soon arrive and her son Ted (James Fitzgibbons) has brought his girlfriend Sarah (Claudia Peyton). Cathy is happy to have her family back home, but she feels a strange, psychic bond with Sarah, one that makes both of them feel a little out sorts. The holiday spirit takes a dark turn when Sarah stumbles upon a samurai sword, which seems to unleash some sort of mystical presence. This is when things go a little bananas, as orgasms summon the supernatural samurai, bodies pile up, and oddball magical powers are wielded. Can anyone survive this horrific holiday ordeal and who is this supernatural, sex summoned samurai?

Entertainment Value: Blood Beat is an absolute masterpiece, a movie that no cult film fan should be without. The pace is a little slow at first, but burns to a series of wild twists, then goes fully off the deep end. You might find yourself saying “ok, things can’t get any weirder than this,” but rest assured they can and do. The narrative makes no sense, but it doesn’t need to, as the movie makes no effort to explain things and just wants to let the magic happen. This is the kind of pure, off the rails madness that cult film devotees live to experience, simply cinematic bliss. The cast pulls off some god awful, but insanely fun to watch performances, especially Helen Benton as the unhinged Cathy. The best part about how bonkers Blood Beat is? The movie is dead serious, with no intentional camp or winks to the audience, it plays it straight and of course, that sends the entertainment value into orbit. In short, this movie is a work of art that deserves to be in a museum, a true wall to wall buffet of cinematic craziness. If you have even a casual interest in offbeat cinema, this is a must own movie.

A few breasts and bare asses can be seen, including a sex scene where a woman’s orgasm is so powerful, it summons the paranormal samurai. While not a typical sex scene, I also loved the intense sleep grinding that led to a frenzied orgasm, spliced with a woman being killed by a katana. If that isn’t romance, I don’t know what is. The blood side of things isn’t rampant, but we have some fun moments of gore, as you’d expect in a slasher movie featuring a ghostly samurai. The effects are low rent, but better than you might think and a good amount of the red stuff splashes around. The gore does get kind of lost in the mix however, that’s how wild this movie is. The dialogue is beautiful and filled with outlandish lines performed by terrible actors. In other words, the exact recipe we love and cherish on this site. Cathy is a lunatic, mumbling to herself all the time, while the rest of the cast is mostly colorful rednecks with plenty of horrible lines to warm our hearths and homes. In terms of craziness, just back up the truck because it is nothing but insanity in Blood Beat. The mystifying premise, terrible performances, orgasm fueled supernatural events, low fi magic fights, phantom handjob motion caused by paranormal seizures, violent groceries, a motivational poster about France, and of course, campfire harmonica sessions all help this one to stand as a titan of movie craziness.

Nudity: 1/10

Blood: 4/10

Dialogue: 8/10

Overall Insanity: 10/10

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