Plot: Lisa (Mandy Moore) is on vacation in Mexico with her sister Kate (Claire Holt), trying to live it up, despite some inner turmoil. She was recently dumped by her longtime boyfriend, who left her behind because she didn’t challenge him and more or less, she was a dull person. Once she reveals the heartbreak to her sister, the girls cut loose and really start to party, since both are single and looking to just make the most of the trip. When Kate hears about a service that lets you swim with sharks, she is certain this is the kind of experience that will not only be unforgettable, but help Lisa shed her boring label. While Lisa is hesitant, she soon agrees and the sisters venture out into the ocean, to see the undersea world like never before. The girls are placed inside a shark cage and lowered into the water, where they can observe all kinds of ocean creatures, including dangerous sharks. The cage is a safe haven, but when a shark rams the cage and knocks it loose, the sisters find themselves trapped on the ocean floor, with sharks all over the area. As time passes and their oxygen supply dwindles, will they survive this excursion or will this be their watery grave?
Entertainment Value: As someone who appreciates both shark movies and tourist horror, 47 Meters Down seems to offer a nice union between the two, though of course, we’ve seen similar efforts in the past. I have to be honest, the sheer level of nonsense in this movie is not only overwhelming, but endearing to watch. The writers make no effort to have things make sense and just do whatever suits the needs of the narrative’s twists, which of course lessens the impact from a tension perspective, but adds so much off the wall humor. No one expects movies to be airtight, but 47 Meters Down just throws all logic and common sense out the window, as if it takes place in some alternate realm or dimension. I loved how stupid the movie was, but I can see how others would see it as lazy or poor research. Mandy Moore and Claire Holt have the leads and do well, with Moore able to convey desperate panic quite well. Matthew Modine has a small, but fun role as the ship’s captain as well. The tension level is going to depend on how much you can overlook the gaping holes in logic, but at least it throws in some twists to keep things on edge. The sharks look terrible, but I found that to be in line with how silly the entire movie is, but if you’re after genuine scares, the cartoonish sharks aren’t likely to make you do much more than laugh. I can’t recommend this as a serious movie, but if you like ridiculous “when animals attack” flicks, give it a shot.
No nakedness. I doubt anyone expected a “well, we’re gonna die anyway” incestuous lesbian rendezvous on the ocean floor, but just in case you were holding out hope, no such luck. The blood is all CGI and looks as terrible as you’d expect, though some of the shark bite wounds look decent. I especially love the attempts to patch up huge, gaping wounds with simple bandages. In terms of dialogue, we mostly get heavy breathing, panic bursts, and sisterly bonding, so don’t expect wild, quotable lines or overly memorable stuff. The real gems in terms of writing come from overlooking basic common sense, not the dialogue. The craziness is mostly found within how little the movie tries to make sense or create authentic tension, instead just doing whatever it wants with no regard to even slight realism. In an other serious movie, the blatant ignoring of basic logic is just wild, especially to the insane degree that you will witness here. Even so, the movie follows the basic genre guidelines otherwise, but the sheer boldness in approach deserves a couple points.
Overall Insanity: 2/10