Plot: Jack (Valin Shinyei) has just learned he has moved to a new town, to live in the house his late grandfather willed to Jack’s mother, Kim (Jessie Fraser). His grandpa was quite a wacky man, so his house reflects that and is littered with odd items and of course, some secrets. In addition to the house and all of his unusual belongings, the old man also left behind a spunky dog, named Skipper. As it turns out, the house is home to more than weird stuff, as a treasure is believed to be hidden inside. This draws the attention of two bumbling burglars, who attempt to break in and uncover the loot, only to be run off when they realize new residents have moved in. This leads Jack and Skipper to look for the treasure themselves, which turns out to be a videotape that serves as the first clue on an adventure of a lifetime. But the crooks haven’t given up either, so this leads to a game of cat and mouse to find the clues before the kids. Who will discover the treasure and what secrets await Jack and his friends?
Entertainment Value: I admit, I was roped in by the movie’s cover, which features a dog wearing an Indiana Jones style hat. I assumed this was a canine adventure movie, but instead, it is about kids and man, what a let down. The story follows a group of kids who try to find a treasure before two inept criminals, but come on, this pales in comparison to an adventure movie starring a dog, right? The dog does have a role of course, but it is a minor one and is dampened by the voice performance of Norm MacDonald, who gives perhaps the most lifeless voice over in cinematic history. He seems to be falling asleep in most scenes, with no inflection, emotion, or enthusiasm whatsoever. Even by his normal low energy standards, this is a hollow, lifeless effort. No one else fares much better, such as the Joe Pesci imitator who brings an epic level of cringe to the movie. Then we have the annoying kids, cardboard cutout mother, and bad accents, leaving us with a sad state of affairs. I know this sounds like a trainwreck and it is, but not in the way that entertains, this one drags throughout. I don’t mind bad, but I do mind boring and this one is a total yawn. I blame the misleading artwork for me falling into this trap, as I wanted a bad movie, but not this bad. Unless you let the DVD player babysit your kids, you can safely skip this one.
No nakedness. No blood. I mean, this is a family friendly, kid oriented movie, so to expect any blood or naked flesh is foolish. The dialogue in this movie is downright horrible, but sadly, not in the fun ways we cherish. The crook doing the Joe Pesci works hard to try to be funny, but it just falls flat. It was clear someone told him to mimic Pesci’s role in Home Alone, as he pushes and pushes, to no avail. I can appreciate his performance from a cringe perspective however, as it is so bad you have to appreciate it from a certain viewpoint. As I said before, MacDonald puts zero effort into his voice work and it tanks in epic fashion. I know it sounds like an exaggeration, but it seriously sounds like he is falling asleep mid-line at times. Just a lazy performance and while the movie isn’t good, I still think he should have tried a little. No real craziness here, just Home Alone thievery and a cat named Chauncey. If all of these awful elements could have given us a wild, so bad its hilarious movie, I would have been happy, but as it stands, we are left with a dull, often lazy production.
Overall Insanity: 0/10