Plot: Ron (Jeffrey Janoff) has a sensitive butthole and a not so sensitive wife, as she abuses him and buys cheap toilet paper. When she tires of what a loser he is and how he ignores the needs of her chocolate starfish, she leaves him. Now Ron is depressed, as he is alone, his mother is crazy and in a loony bin, and he still needs to take a dump but has no name brand toilet paper. He visits his mom, but she slips into a coma and her doctor/lawyer/lover advises Ron that according to her wishes, she will be euthanized within a week if she doesn’t wake up. So Ron heads into the forest, shoves a mushroom up his ass, and trips his balls off. He is soon visited by a booty worm, who springs from his asshole and reveals that Ron is the chosen one, a man who will save the world if he can save his mom’s anus. But even with help from the space nuns, can Ron overcome the odds and fulfill this ancient prophecy?
Entertainment Value: If you like outlandish, random, and unpredictable cinema, The Unquenchable Thirst of Beau Nerjoose is one you need to see. A sci/fi musical that never ceases to make you wonder what the hell is going on, this movie is a wild ride filled with over the top humor and bizarre moments. The narrative follows a loser who turns out to be the chosen one, then shoves stuff up his butt, masturbates in the woods, and has to face an evil doctor. I have to think most people would either be offended or confused by this movie, but I thought it was very creative and often hilarious. But without question, this is aimed at those who want to see strange, off the rails type movies, so it is not a mass appeal release. As you’d expect, not all of the humor lands but most of it works, even if just because of how absurd it all is. Even if you hate the movie, you have to appreciate the creative vision and drive to make a movie that doesn’t follow all the usual blueprints. The cast is fun to watch and since they embrace the manic tone, the silly performances work better than they should. Leanna Quigley has a small role as a fortune teller who gives her nephew handjobs. This is a balls deep trek into cinematic insanity, which some will love and others will hate, while even others will experience their brains turning into cotton candy. If you appreciate creative, outlandish indie movies, you have to give this one a chance.
The movie has a few topless scenes, including one with space nuns singing about maggots on their breasts. Yep. Also has a good amount of man ass, so buckle up if that’s your kind of nakedness. You’ll also see some fake dongs, such as a claymation bear jacking off and a penis that can suck itself. Not to mention balls that literally explode, so yeah. Just a couple scenes of bloodshed, but one has a fountain of crimson that gushes for a good while. The movie also has numerous non gore effects, from low rent CGI to hilarious claymation, and some other animation moments that look like they were done with Windows Paint. You also get to see a lot of fecal matter and semen, so bodily fluids do run rampant, just not blood. As for the dialogue, you know I love outrageous, random lines and this movie has them in droves. So much wild shit in this one and since the cast goes with the craziness, the dialogue works well. As I’ve said before, some people would just be baffled or offended, but I had a lot of fun with the writing here. So many quotable lines and ridiculous moments. The songs are simple and brisk, so while they don’t all nail the humor, at least they’re short, right? On the insanity scale, this movie more than earns a high score and never stops dishing out madness and random nonsense. Talking worms up people’s asses, an obsession with shit, space nuns, incestuous handjobs, a fleshlight that could save the world, a stop motion bear that jerks off and jizzes all over our lead, all of this and so much more.
Overall Insanity: 10/10