Plot: Dr. Bones (Darrow Igus) runs a radio station and wants to discover fresh new music, so he sponsors a talent contest. This will allow undiscovered musicians to have a chance to shine and stand out, taking the next step toward their dreams. While this seems like a kind gesture from Bones, he has an ulterior motive for this talent search, one that has a dark goal in mind. Bones wants to use his radio station to send out a voodoo message to the masses, but of course, he needs to mask his intentions or people would just change the station. So he needs to bury the voodoo lingo in popular music then promote it so that everyone wants to listen, which then ensures his mind control reaches a wide audience. The experiments up to this point have failed, but Bones is confident about his latest talent find, a hip hop group known as the Urban Protectors, who are driven to find success. Will Bones turn their musical ambition into his mind controlling master plan, or will his true intentions be unmasked?
Entertainment Value: A movie about a voodoo practitioner using hip hop to mind control the masses is interesting, but much like the title suggests, The Horrible Dr. Bones isn’t all that. The premise is a good one, but the movie packs in way too many musical performances that derail the pace. I know some music is essential given the concept, but they’re too frequent here and come off as ways to fill time. Not to mention the music is, well not that memorable, which doesn’t help the situation. The music is better than the visual effects however, which are some of the worst around. The CGI effects look like a Nintendo 64 game, just lame and ineffective. But if you’re here for unintentional humor and the like, then obviously these add to the entertainment value. On the bright side, this movie has a good lead in Darrow Igus as Dr. Bones. His performance is fun to watch and he has a great evil pimp type vibe, which suits the character well. I can’t defend this as being a top tier movie, but if the premise of a voodoo priest brainwashing the world through hip hop sounds fun, you could take a chance here.
No nakedness. There’s some blood, but not much. After a laughable CGI head explosion, a headless corpse topless to the ground, a few rubber hearts are tossed around, and faces get all distorted via some more CGI magic. The makeup effects on Dr. Bones are likely the best of the bunch, but even then, nothing to write home about. So a tinge of blood, but mostly low grade CGI effects. The writing here is overly serious, but doesn’t veer into melodrama enough to get that outrageous dialogue. So we’re left with just serious lines that don’t work as drama, but aren’t humorous either. Dr. Bones is fun to watch, but even he doesn’t have many memorable lines to spout off. As for craziness, the premise is the wildest part of the movie, but after that, things never get too out of control. Perhaps if the filmmakers had dialed up the madness a little, this would have been a more memorable movie, but we will never know.
Overall Insanity: 1/10