Plot: A man’s penis enlargement cream has caused a serious side effect, turning his penis into a clay-like substance. In an effort to improve on this, he sculpts his manhood in the shape of a shark, complete with fins and teeth. But sex turns out to be rather impossible and when he tries to urinate through his penis, his dickshark bites off his fingers. Soon his girlfriend has had enough and shoots him right in the dick, sending the penis into the toilet and down the drain. But this dickshark was too smart for that, so it split in several smaller dicksharks, looking for more ways to survive. The dickshark continues to evolve and attack, finding victims to fly through the air onto and rape. Dick (Bill Zebub) is on the case, but he seems to be hiding some dark secrets behind his vast knowledge of science and life in general. As it keeps growing more powerful, the dickshark seems unstoppable, but can the power of science prevail?
Entertainment Value: I had to see this one, with a title like Dickshark and coming from the mind of Bill Zebub. The premise is about a dickshark, but not really and we’re taken on numerous tangents between scenes about the penis predator. I love the concept and the oddball sense of humor, but man, this movie runs almost two and a half hours. I am all about freedom of expression, but Dickshark is slow in places and drags on at times, which is a shame. I mean, there’s like five minutes of a guy looking at a candle and so much slow motion. When the movie focuses on the main narrative or Zebub’s off the wall antics, it works and entertains. I appreciate the raw, in the moment texture of the dialogue and the inventive, hilarious effects, but when things grind to a crawl, it just goes on and on. There’s a fun, creative, and batshit crazy movie in here, its just bloated with filler moments. As much as I disliked the pace of Dickshark, I did have fun with the movie, especially the strange performance of Zebub and the wacky dialogue. So if you like offbeat indie cinema, hilariously strange dialogue & performances, or tons of naked women, Dickshark is worth a chance.
This one has ample naked women, in vivid and lingering detail. Zebub often delivers his manic dialogue while massaging the breasts of a starlet, which is weird and creepy, but effective for narrative purposes. A good amount of girls get naked and the camera isn’t shy, zooming in on their various assets. This includes vagina close ups, sometimes even slow motion shots of the lips in motion, quite a sight. Bill also has some love scenes of sorts, but these are not that erotic in nature. A highlight is the presence of Erin Brown, who made experimental films with Factory 2000 and lesbian sex comedies with Seduction Cinema as Misty Mundae. Aside from the finger biting and gun shot to the crotch early on, no bloodshed here. The dialogue is bananas, you’ll either appreciate the absurdity of it all or revel in the cringe factor. Either way, tons of outlandish lines that you wouldn’t expect in this kind of movie. The exchanges come off as live and raw, which really adds to the fun. This movie has girls being raped by a dickshark of various sizes, Zebub groping breasts and rambling on tangents, and a spider that fucks Erin Brown to death. Let us not forget a weird conversation about eternal youth, which is where a guy stares at a candle for like five minutes. So you have all that, plus the lunatic dialogue, graphic nudity, and just odd vibe of the entire experience.
Overall Insanity: 8/10