Plot: After God created the heavens and the earth, he created man. As such, Adam (Mark Gregory) hatched out of some gross membrane, then set out to view the world around him. He soaked in the sights, played with leopards, and frolicked in the nude, but still felt alone. So he went to the beach, sculpted a female out of the sand, and dry humped his creation in the rain. Out of this noble act, Eve (Andrea Goldman) was dry humped into existence. The two hit it off and have some laughs, but Eve is drawn to the forbidden fruit, thanks to a huge snake. Adam warns her, but she winds up giving in and takes the bite heard ’round the world. Now banished from paradise, the young couple faces all manner of new dangers. Not the least of which is Eve’s bratty attitude, mind you. Can these two somehow survive and build a new life in this dangerous new world?

Entertainment Value: I can’t be sure, but I have to assume this film is 100% accurate as to how mankind was birthed. Man from a gross membrane egg and woman dry humped from sand castle to living female. Seems plausible. Adam and Eve Meet the Cannibals is a wild Italian production that tells a time worn tale, but certainly adds in plenty of fresh elements. Aside from the fun title, this movie is likely going to lure in genre fans thanks to Mark Gregory’s presence. Known for 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Gregory plays a determined, but rather ineffective Adam. But when opposite an Eve as bratty and manic as Andrea Goldman, just about any Adam is going to struggle. She is just such a bitch in this movie and playing it to sheer perfection. As for the rest of the cast, we have a colorful assortment of folks as various tribes people. Some will dislike how random and cheaply made this movie is, but that stuff makes me love it even more. One of the most outlandish biblical tales ever filmed, this one is well worth a look.

While in paradise, we see Adam and Eve nude often. This means breasts, butt, and full frontal on Adam, but not Eve. The shots aren’t lingering or overly gratuitous, just two frolickers in nature. There’s a couple of later scenes where Eve flashes some skin and some random cave girl boobs in the background at times. So not a lot of flesh, but a passable amount. Some blood, mostly from the cannibal related sequence, but not graphic. Just some gushes when a spear is thrust or rock is slammed down, but hey, blood is blood. Eve is a goldmine of bratty bitch dialogue, nagging Adam and changing her mind every five minutes. Adam is your basic dumb guy, but Eve shines with her sharp, acidic tongue. If you enjoy the talking snakes in these Eden movies, there’s one here. This one is pretty nuts, from the creation scenes to the odd sex to the bear fight, not to mention the hot & cold relationship of our leads. While not as sleazy as it could have been, Adam and Eve Meet the Cannibals compensates with weird moments.

Nudity: 3/10

Blood: 2/10

Dialogue: 4/10

Overall Insanity: 6/10