Plot: Vicki (Therese Pare) is tired of her boyfriend and his one track mind, as she just isn’t ready for sex. That doesn’t stop from him trying to score and beyond that, all of her friends are getting it in. She lets her friends come to the house where she is babysitting and soon, quite the party is underway. Togas are worn, group showers are taken, and Vicki feels like she’s being pressured too much. She leaves and soon everyone does too, when the father returns home and finds his home trashed. Vicki soon meets up with Lorraine (Lydia Wagner), an older woman with a lifestyle that Vicki dreams of. Lorraine has her own place, nice things, and a good source of income as an executive liaison. But when Vicki learns that Lorraine is really a high end prostitute, will she head for the hills or will she explore this new lifestyle?

Entertainment Value: If you read the reviews of Jailbait Babysitter, it seems like no one likes this movie in the slightest. I would never make a case for this being a good movie, but I also don’t understand the claims of boredom. This is such an awkward, nonsensical, and off the rails movie, how could you be bored? Vicki’s story just makes no sense whatsoever, but the movie presents the narrative in dead serious fashion. Not to mention Vicki seems to be overly sedated in numerous scenes, which makes you wonder if it was intentional or if the actress was just drugged up. That’s just one of countless mysteries you’ll wonder about, as this movie is packed with questionable choices. I found Jailbait Babysitter to be a fever dream of bad decisions that is a fun train wreck to witness. I know most people found it to be boring, but I was entranced by the odd performances and bizarre dialogue, not to mention the epic van known as The Desert Fox.

This one has some nudity, but not as much as you’d expect, given the film’s title. A few girls show off the jugs, but the views are brief. But what the film lacks in quantity, it makes up for with some fantastic breasts. The sex scenes are hokey and non graphic, though Vicki does almost fuck an old man to death. She tells him to “just stay in there,” but her lady flower is too powerful. No real bloodshed, but we do have a couple of fights and Vicki throws a guy into a bookcase. One of the fights is quite epic and finally answers the age old question of who would win a fight between a vampire and a hobo. As far as dialogue, Jailbait Babysitter is packed with outlandish lines. And since the cast rattles them off in serious tone, the movie is just ridiculous and wildly entertaining. I love the scene where Vicki debates the value of a coffee creamer pot, its so random and not needed, but Vicki treats it like she’s doing Shakespeare. On the insanity scale, Jailbait Babysitter is a clusterfuck of epic proportions that never fails to make you wonder what the hell the cast & crew were thinking. If you’ve never seen it and you like low rent, off the wall movies, ignore the mainstream reviews and give it a chance.

Nudity: 3/10

Blood: 0/10

Dialogue: 8/10

Overall Insanity: 7/10

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