Plot: A small Texas town is under siege from a maniacal killer, who is leaving a trail of bodies soaked in blood. Doc (Rocky Patterson) is the local medical expert and once he sees the victims with nails driven into their bodies, he surmises that somebody must have went to town with a hammer and a box of nails. While Doc and the sheriff are trying to keep up, the killer is always a couple of murders ahead. The killings haven’t done much to rile up the locals, who continue with life as usual, at least until they’re slaughtered. The wild killer preys upon a wide scope of victims, but especially seems to target the men who work at a local construction site. Between those murders, the killer also seems agitated and strikes out whenever someone is trying to get laid. The bodies keep piling up and while Doc seems to be closing in, its too late for countless victims. Can Doc solve this mystery or will he too be struck down in the Nail Gun Massacre?
Entertainment Value: This movie is usually mentioned whenever there’s talk of the worst movies ever made, so that’s a start. I’d much rather watch Nail Gun Massacre than a Kate Hudson romantic comedy, but that’s just me. The movie is low rent and doesn’t try to patch up production woes, but that is part of the fun here. The cast is fairly large for a movie of this kind and it seems like mostly a local group of non actors. The woman behind the counter at the store is hilarious, but the old man who heckles the police over a dead body in the street is my personal highlight. The killer has an iconic look with all black attire and that taped up motorcycle helmet, though people are bound to remember the hokey voice over the fashion. I also love that the killer drives a gold hearse, just a nice off the wall touch, I think. The lack of polish is evident, but fans of low budget horror know what to expect in cases like this. Yes, Nail Gun Massacre is a train wreck and that is why it has remained a genre staple all these years.
This movie packs in some nice sex scenes and of course, that means naked ladies. A few girls pop out the breasts and you’ll see both perhaps the perfect jugs and a set of blood covered tits. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s full frontal nudity on the corpses of both a woman and a man. So yeah, you get to see a dead guy’s balls and come on, that kind of entertainment is priceless. Now we can talk blood and Nail Gun Massacre has ample stock in that department. The movie has a high kill count, but since the killer is a one trick pony, there’s not much variety in the deaths. But they do the best they can to keep the nail gun kills fresh and that helps a lot. A favorite kill set up of mine is when a couple is having awkward sex against a tree because the girl refused to put her ass in an ant mound. The gore isn’t graphic, but there’s a lot of blood here and some decent looking effects given the film’s budget. There’s a lot of memorable dialogue here as well, made all the better by the non actors that perform them. As I said above, the old man ranting about the corpse in the street is probably my favorite of the lot. This might not be the craziest movie out there, but it is offbeat and the production limitations only serve to up the madness, so don’t overlook Nail Gun Massacre.
Overall Insanity: 6/10