Plot: A plague has infested America, as hordes of vampires prowl the land and only seem to grow stronger as time passes. A man known as Mister (Nick Damici) stalks these dark creatures and tries to curb the tide of the epidemic, but his efforts aren’t viewed as helpful by everyone. In the panic and desperation, religious cults have risen that see the beasts as divine, so Mister’s actions are often vilified. He continues to travel and take down vampires however, with the help of Martin (Connor Paolo), a young man he trains to survive in this harsh landscape. The two face constant threats from the vampires, zealots, and other desperate people, but Mister is determined to keep fighting as long as he can. But with danger around every corner and no respite from the violence, can these two survive and find New Eden?

Entertainment Value: Stake Land breathes some new life into the vampire genre, with some fresh twists and an interesting take on the fanged creatures. The story takes place in a world overrun by vampires, but hunting the beasts isn’t always seen as positive, since strange religious cults see them as a divine creation. This alone makes Stake Land stand out a little, since it tries to put a new spin on things. Instead of just worrying about the vampires, our leads have to fend off assaults from numerous sides. The tone is dark and serious, with performances to match. Nick Damici is good as vampire ass kicker Mister and Danielle Harris is solid in a small role, but I wasn’t that taken with Connor Paolo’s effort here. Not bad by any means, but he seems out of his element and isn’t on the same level as the others. The pacing is good, with only a couple slower stretches toward the end, with plenty of fun set pieces along the path. I really liked the world the film inhabits and the attention to detail in crafting the lore of these vampires, just a well crafted picture. If you’re a fan of vampires or horror in general, Stake Land is well worth a look.

A brief glimpse at a couple bare asses aside, no nakedness in this one. But there’s some blood of course, as hunting vampires tends to lead to violence. A few cringe inducing CGI moments creep in, but most of the bloodshed here looks good. A lot of bites, stakes to the heart, gun shot wounds, arrow piercings, stabbings, and other fun stuff can be seen, most of which yields some moderate crimson. I also want to mention how cool the vampires are here, a kind of savage beast that is a nice change of pace from goth chic or teen hipsters, so that was a plus. The makeup effects are good and create some memorable moments, great work overall. As the tone is serious and dark, the dialogue reflects that and the lines aren’t outlandish. Even one liners are infrequent here, so there’s little in terms of wild moments or memorable exchanges. Along that same line, the craziness here is minimal, since the movie takes that more serious approach. That’s not a knock at all, as the movie works well. I do think a few small moments stand out as a little off, so that earns one point at least.

Nudity: 0/10

Blood: 4/10

Dialogue: 0/10

Overall Insanity: 1/10

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