Plot: The beach is where all the hip kids chill, race their assorted vehicles, and of course, get laid. All is swell in the beach world until the Mayor threatens to place lifeguard stands up and down the shore. This greatly upsets the local teens, as that means what was once “their” beach is now in private hands. Throw in asshole Turk, a mouthy thug who works for the mayor and the fun grinds to a halt. Andy tries to use his intellect and computer skills to reclaim the beach, but he is distracted by both a gold coin and Allison, the Mayor’s beautiful daughter. As Andy and his pals look into the gold coin, it appears a buried treasure is rumored to located on the beach. The teens decide to throw a party and have a heavy metal perform, in order to think deeply and formulate a plan. All the while, a police officer keeps breaking up sexual hijinks on the beach, only to be taunted by a car shaped like a chicken. This leads to consulting an astronaut, which is a dead end, but inspires them to bring back the metal band and throw another bash. Will the beach be saved and what about the chicken car?

Entertainment Value: On rare occasions, the stars align and we find a movie where every tumbler falls perfectly into place. If you love confusing, bizarre cinema, Computer Beach Party is one such movie. This is just pure nonsense from start to finish, a true masterpiece of “what the fuck” movies. The story veers between a brisk teen sex comedy, treasure hunt, and live music video. The core narrative is teens trying to save the beach, but its not clear why it needs to be saved. It would be more crowded, but is that a reason to fight City Hall? I also love the cast, most of whom have been dubbed, but all of whom are hilariously awkward. Andy seems like he is about fifty years old, but at least that explains his computer efficiency. The voices are just a thing of beauty, over the top and inconsistent, never failing to entertain. This is a movie where nothing makes sense, but it doesn’t matter at all. No conversation seems natural, things happen for no reason, and just about everything is stilted or awkward. You have to appreciate baffling cinema, but if you do, Computer Beach Party is a riotous experience. Anyone who enjoys oddball movies or 80s sex comedies should check it out.

Just a couple of topless scenes, one that involves a woman chasing down a police officer who is afraid of her breasts. There are some sex scenes, but they’re strange and not so erotic. Such as Andy shooting his load in five seconds, then having sped up sex in the back of the computer van. No blood or violence, the one violent scene was “censored” by the producers to avoid upsetting the audience. As far as dialogue, this movie is like a gift delivered by the hands of angels. No line in this movie is natural or makes sense, just total nonsense and it is glorious. The conversations are so awkward, they go in odd directions and just end on an off note. I loved the bizarre writing, but you have to credit the weird cast, including those who were dubbed with inexplicable voices. The accents change, the tone is wildly inconsistent, just beautiful stuff here. You have to carry over the dialogue into the craziness scale, as it contributes to the total mayhem. Add in the random heavy metal jams, a trip to the historic Gilley’s honkytonk, and a live version of Under the Boardwalk, just to make the music is weird too. I doubt very many people would watch this and not find it to be batshit crazy.

Nudity: 1/10

Blood: 0/10

Dialogue: 10/10

Overall Insanity: 10/10