Plot: Cliff Adams (John Schneider) runs air transport for Gonzalo Reyes (Federico Luppi), the kingpin of a South American cocaine cartel. But not all is as it seems, as Cliff is deep undercover for DEA and has become a trusted agent of the cartel. When one his friends is framed for stealing cocaine, he realizes it is time to make a backup plan, a decision that soon reinforced by Reyes. Cliff is approached by Reyes to assassinate a man running for office, a man who promises to take down Reyes. Of course, Cliff refuses and this puts him in a precarious position, as Reyes dislikes being told no. Now Cliff puts together a plan that involves using all of his accumulated evidence as Reyes, leveraging that to secure a ton of cash and a safe exit. He enlists the help of reporters, including his love interest Janet (Kathryn Witt) to spill a little information and show Reyes he means what he says. Although he has some safety in knowing the incriminating information hangs over Reyes, Cliff still finds himself surrounded by dangerous situations. Can he manage to escape rich and alive, or will Reyes have the last laugh?

Entertainment Value: Who doesn’t want to watch Bo Duke himself, John Schneider wage a one man war against a South American cocaine cartel? The premise here is quite fun and the story is passable, if a little convoluted at times. But still, we have Schneider and a one man crusade, which is what matters. Schneider plays the cocky American with great skill here, talking tough and playing it cool, even with the odds quite stacked against him. His bravado is impressive, marching into a cartel compound and barking orders, always confident in his actions. The rest of the cast is solid, but not all that memorable, though Royal Dano has a small, but fun role. Kathryn Witt is believable as a news reporter, but doesn’t have the sultriness to be a capable love interest here. A guy like Cliff Adams deserves one hot mamacita, after all. This plays mostly as a drama with light humor, with pockets of action thrown in. So don’t expect wall to wall action, but the pace is effective and Cocaine Wars is never slow or dull. If you’re into 80s action curios or just love The Dukes of Hazzard, then you’ll probably have some fun here.

A couple brief topless glimpses is all we have here. We do get a sex scene where John Schneider gives us some amusing facial expressions, taking us on an erotic journey from gentle smile to grin of satisfaction. There’s some blood here and there, with perhaps the most graphic violence shown in very brief torture flashes. There are fights and shoot outs, so some minor bloodshed, but nothing extreme. The action simmers for most of the movie, but we are treated to quite an explosive finale, including attempted murder by cocaine suffocation. What a way to go, right? I found the dialogue here to be fine, with only Schneider dishing out memorable lines. As I said before, he plays the cocky tough guy well and spits out some fun one liners. His swagger is on point, but sadly no one else keeps pace in the dialogue department. I think it is wild to have Schneider in a South American drug cartel setting, but for the most part, Cocaine Wars remains grounded. The movie delivers 80s action by coloring within the lines. But a few little oddball moments creep in, so it deserves a point in this area.

Nudity: 1/10

Blood: 2/10

Dialogue: 2/10

Overall Insanity: 1/10